Saturday, July 2, 2011

Hipster plus hipster equals weird

I know that a lot of people diss hipsters*.  And I know it is a little mean to pick on them because they are so feeble and such easy targets – but they really do confuse the hell out of me.

I spent this morning in one of the most painfully hip neighbourhoods in Sydney. And, of course, it was crawling with hipsters. Which is fine. I mean, what was I expecting? I was in their natural habitat. Complaining about there being too many hipsters in that hood would be like whining about having your leg bitten off while swimming in shark-infested waters. 

I like to go there because wherever there are hipsters, you can guarantee that there is good coffee, all day breakfasts, cd shops and flea markets (which are like the hipster Mecca). 

Also, I don't hate on these people just because they dress differently or talk strange or take themselves all waaaaaay too seriously. That would be wrong. Plus, having been a goth, I don’t feel I am in a position to judge and have a fair amount of sympathy for them. I know that they are just expressing their individuality by dressing exactly the same as all of their friends. It is a thing.

But one thing that continues to confuddle me about hipsters is this:

Do hipster girls (who usually look pretty cute) actually find hipster boys (who usually look like douche-bags) attractive?

I mean, seriously. Here is a picture of a fairly typical hipster girl:

Cute, right? And here is her natural mate, the hipster male:

Um, what? 

Now here is Isabel Lucas and her current beau, Angus Stone, who show us how two hipsters look when they are together:



Much like the wookie defence, THIS DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!!!

Maybe she is staying with him in hope that one day he will return to the sweet, fairly attractive man in the photo below - taken before he stopped shaving and started buying overpriced "vintage" clothes that had previously been worn by some homeless man that used to live in the same hip neighbourhood as him before it was gentrified to buggery:


Yeah. That is the same guy. So it isn't like the beard is hiding a hideously deformed growth or something. Can't she use her womanly ways to get him looking half-way decent again? Surely she doesn't prefer how he looks now?

And sure, I know that the heart wants what it wants and true love isn’t all about appearances and blah blah blah - but c’mon! These guys actually look like they are putting huge amounts of effort into looking as unappealing as is humanly possible.  It is one thing for a guy to be all scruffy and unshaven because he really just doesn’t give a crap about how he looks (and possibly hasn’t been home for a few days and is still drunk) but when guys have obviously tried so hard to look like this?

I just don’t get it.

And the facial hair! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? 

I guess they would probably say that they are being ironic.

But you know what? Not everything stupid is ironic - sometimes it is just stupid. 

*If you aren't really sure exactly what a hipster is but want to learn more, I suggest checking out this website:  HILARIOUS!!!!!