Thursday, August 2, 2012

Holiday madness

I am worn out, you guys. Totally exhausted and run down. And the cold weather is not helping either. I just want to stay under the covers all day. I have to pretty much drag my poor, listless body around the place and offer myself bribes to force me into doing the simplest of things - you know, like 'Listen body - if you actually manage to get up and change out of your yoga gear, I will let you go and buy a coffee instead of having the instant crap'.

Luckily for me, though, I only have to suffer through one more week of this drudgery before I get to spend two glorious weeks in Thailand. In sunny, hot, tropical Thailand!

Oh I cannot wait! I am going to eat ALL the mango and drink ALL the coconut water and do bunches of yoga and just be lovely every single day!

Because while I am definitely more of an urban person, going on a holiday to a nice warm, tropical beachy place is sometimes exactly what my body needs to wind down and recalibrate. And this holiday could not come at a better time because I am beat!

I have been so crazy and busy, in fact, that I have hardly had time to think about packing. The cool thing about beach holidays, though, is that you really don't need to pack that much. A few bikinis, denim cut-offs, a couple of floaty dresses and some flip-flops will get you through pretty much the whole trip.

That said, something very peculiar happens to me when I go on these sorts of holidays. All of my usual style preferences go out the window and I start to get this idea in my head that on every day of my holiday I am going to pretty much looks exactly like this:



No big surprise - this is not what I actually end up looking like. Though not through lack of trying.

Here are some of the things that I do when hanging out on another country's lovely beaches:

1. Wear fake tan and bronzer

Even in the middle of summer, I do not wear fake tan when I am at home. Which makes me one of the 2% of all Sydney women who do not look orange and smell gross as soon as the sun comes out (and, for a scary number of women, for the rest of the year too, regardless of the temperature). To be honest, I just cannot be bothered with it. I do think that a tan can look lovely and, given that sun baking is perhaps the stupidest thing you could do (it causes cancer, premature ageing and is dull, dull, dull), faking a tan is really the only way to go about it. But who has the time?

Well, on holiday, I do!

Weird - maybe. But I just feel a bit better on the beach and in direct sunlight if I have a bit of colour. And then when I am back home, I will go back to being my lovely white self and mocking those around me who do this all the time. Because I am awful.

2. I buy and then wear weird, locally made dresses that I will never, ever wear again

I call this getting 'island fever'. It is when you start to get so relaxed in your dreamy, tropical surroundings that you actually forget that you cannot wear a sarong EVERY DAY back in your real life. You know, that life where you mostly wear jeans or thick, black opaques and absolutely NOTHING has a fricking flower printed on it!!!!

Yeah - this dress was never worn again. Luckily it didn't cost a lot. Shocking, right?

3. I wear dreamy white dresses

Because this is one of the only time when I will have a tan (albeit a fake one) I also get this desire to wear white - a colour that I would ordinarily avoid due to the fact that my skin (and now my hair) is so white, that I will basically look dead. Also, all of those gorgeous, nature-loving, glowy models always wear white on the beach and they look super - and that means I will too!!

This is actually a very pretty dress. And it was a bargain too - I got it from Primark on my first trip to the UK for 2 quid. But still - I only ever wear when I am on holiday because it is just not something that I would ordinarily feel the urge to wear.

4. I think this hat goes with EVERYTHING!

THIS hat.

It is actually my husband's hat. I am not sure if he has ever actually worn it though. It is also a very ugly hat. But on holiday, it is the PERFECT hat. I don't know why. It just feels... right. I plan on taking it again this time.

5. I wear shiny, pixie-like bits of cloth that don't really qualify as a dress

Again, this is actually quite pretty - but honestly. Would I ever, ever wear such a silly, whimsical little thing - WHICH IS ACTUALLY SEE-THROUGH - if it wasn't for the practical anonymity that being in a foreign country affords me?

The answer is no, of course I wouldn't. I mean, it isn't black, it has no studs on it and there isn't a single skull in sight - so it hardly fits in with my everyday wear, does it? But apparently, under the influence of the balmy Vanuatu heat, I thought it was just the very thing!

6. In fact, I wear an awful lot of dresses

While currently I live in jeans, leggings and, more recently, shorts with opaques, I have no doubt in my mind that, once I get to Thailand, I will be living in dresses. This is more to do with convenience than anything else - they take up very little space in a suitcase and so allow for lots of shopping to be done. (I mean, just think of all the other dresses, sarongs and pairs of fisherman's pants that I can bring back with me if I only take a couple of teeny weeny dresses over with me! And then think of all the seemingly extra space I will have in my wardrobe when, six months down the track, I throw all of these dresses, sarongs and fisherman's pants away because I realise that I will never actually wear them once I have left Thailand!)

I bought this one in Bali a couple of years ago. I have not worn it since. Although I did lend it to a friend for her to take to Thailand with her earlier this year and I will probably take it with me too. Because, again, it is very pretty. It is just not very me - well not non-holiday me anyway.

I have no doubt in my mind that I am going to do all of these things again. It is part of the fun now, I think.

Oooooooh I can't wait! :)


Charmaine said...

Oooohh, shout out! Also, that black dress with the orangy-yellow hibiscus flowers is hi.lar.i.ous.

TrèsChicGlobal said...

So Jel, wish i was off to somewhere sunny and relaxing right now...have funnnnn :)