Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Why God? Why? (The Festival Report)

I am so sorry you guys - I know I promised to post yonks ago (well - a couple of weeks ago). But I have got such treats for you today that I hope you are able to find it in your hearts to forgive me my tardiness.

So a few posts back, I gave some pretty practical advice on what girls should not wear to a music festival (check it if you haven't already). And I thought that maybe - just maybe - after imparting my wisdom to the masses, this year people would dress a bit more appropriately. Well. How wrong can one girl be?

The Big Day Out in Sydney was an even bigger freak-show than usual. It is like people just didn't read my post or something (pfft - unlikely!). Or maybe they did read it and then figured I didn't know what I was talking about and so decided to do the opposite of everything I said (slightly more likely but still pretty ridiculous)?

And while I did have an aMAZing day getting my festival on and all, I couldn't help but get distracted by all of the fashion tragedies that were wandering around the place, desperately searching for liquor, cigs or their boyf (sometimes all three came in a neat little, semi-naked package with a spesh southern cross tattoo emblazoned across its back).

So, I took photos. I felt kinda dodgy doing this but figured, what the hey! I feel like it is for the greater public-good or something and so it is all ok.

I have blurred out the faces of the fashion-challenged specimans displayed below to protect their *ahem* image but if you recognise yourself, and actually feel like owning up to the fact that you looked THIS HIDEOUS, message me and I will take your photo down ASAP. (Of course, I may also feel the need to email you back with a scathing lecture on why a bikini is not an actual top or how, if you can't do your fly up, it is a sign that you should put on some shorts that fit and not just rock around the place WITH YOUR PANTS UNDONE!!!!!! But I do promise to delete your photo. Kay? Kay.)

So here are some of the fine moments in festival styling that I came across. You may notice a "clothing optional" theme and this was pretty much followed by at least 80% of the crowd - male and female. Sadly, I didn't get the memo and left my hot pants at home.


I am not sure, but I think this is a denim, Australian flag onesie - outstanding!!!

 Some kind of tropical, calypso thing going on here. Clearly at the festival to check out Rammstein. At least it qualifies as a top. Snaps for that.

Denim nappy with scales? Bra sets it off just lovely.

Never let the fact that you can't zip up your tiny skirt stop you from wearing it in public - just match it with a totally cute, macrame swimsuit! Yeah!

These guys all got the clothing optional memo. Maybe I can get on some kind of mailing list so I don't feel so overdressed next year...

BTW Special shout out to Bron who posed for fake photos in front of some of these gals so I didn't look like a total psycho-stalker. M-wah!

xx EM


Unknown said...

Awesome - think 'denim nappy with scales' is my fave ;)

Jody said...

Oh dear. It was a bit early to be viewing the onsie Aussie flag outfit. Although I am feeling somewhat better about myself at this point.