Getting older and more awesomer

Soooooooo it was my birthday last week! I turned 33. Thirty. Three.

The fact that I can write that without needing to breathe into a paper bag actually shows considerable growth on my behalf.

My birthday, and the focus that it throws on my ageing self, has brought me varying degrees of distress each year since I turned 20. Back then, I was having conniptions over the fact that, as I would no longer be a teen, I could no longer blame my many "issues" on "teenage angst". I felt a great deal of pressure to grow the hell up. It was awful.

And, to be honest, all of my birthday woes since then have all kind of been due to the same thing - this idea that I needed to sort myself out already - that should be more together than I was. And also because I really didn't feel as old as my age suggested I should be. Even at 30, I was still feeling like a 16 year old - but a 16 year old who only had a limited amount of time before turning into a boring old fart.

Well, this year, I though "sod that!"

I mean, sure - I am getting on a bit. I have a serious, dull job. I have a mortgage. And I got really excited last month when I bought a Magimix for the kitchen.

But that doesn't mean that I have to turn into a boring person. And I haven't.

What I am realising now is that what I have gained over all these years is a better sense of who I am and what I like. And I really don't feel the need to subscribe to whatever others might think someone of my age, my gender, my profession etc should be like. I am, after years of feeling like and odd, awkward little misfit, feeling very comfortable with just being me. And that means being comfortable with my age too.

And it was with this renewed sense of self and not caring what people thought anymore that I decided that what I really wanted for my birthday was the same thing I have wanted since I was a wee little kid, but never had the guts to get - a skateboard!

And it makes me ridiculously happy!! When I tell people that I got a skateboard for my birthday, they either think it is the best thing ever or they think I am insane. Some of the crueler ones like to remind me that it is much easier to break bones "at my age'. I choose to ignore those people though.

I can't do much more than ride up and down the quiet, flat streets of my hood at the moment but it is a lot of fun. And it is nice to learn something new. Even if that something new could potentially result in stitches or a neck brace. YOLO bitches!!!!

The backpack in the above pics was also a birthday present (from me to me) - it is Deena & Ozzy and I got it from Urban Outfitters.  Ditto the shoes (also Deena & Ozzy) Did you know Urban Outfitters deliver to Australia for free for purchases over $50? Cos they totally do!!!!

My lovely husband also surprised me with this very cool, very goth and very posh Pasotti umbrella with skull handle.

Gah! I can't wait for it to rain now!!!!

He also bought me this pretty sparrow foot Deadly Ponies necklace - because he is lovely.

My birthday was totally rad.

And in addition to getting a crap load of awesome presents, one of my lovely co-workers made me vegan cupcakes that tasted like heaven doused in cinnamon. And I went and saw the final Twilight movies with three of my favourite people. Because I am 33 and I also happen to be Team Edward. Deal with it.

Best birthday EVER!

Mainstreaming the underground

Ah - so Halloween is over for another year.

The masses have had their annual, spooky fun wearing dark lipstick, black nail polish, black lace, studs, faux leather, rubber etc etc and now it will once again be something that only the gothy-punky subcultures like to play with.

Well - sort of.

Because the kids are not just getting all vampy by wearing "Team Edward" t-shirts anymore. Cheap and cheerful retailers like TopShop, Urban Outfitters, Dangerfield and ASOS are just brimming with goth-inspired looks (for example, you can buy this bondage-style studded leather harness from TopShop right now for about $50).  

And fashionistas have been having an on-again off-again relationship with dark lipstick and black nail polish for the last few years. The second a designer has a line sprinkled with lace, blood red velvet or dominatrix-style leather or a stylish new, dark movie comes out (hello "Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"), goth comes back on the fashion radar and everyone wants in on it. 

Stories like this one recently post on Stylelist.com, "Hollywood Gone Goth!", are now pretty standard.  And then there is Scarlett Johansson's recent look on the cover of W Magazine's November anniversary issue:

Source: www.justjared.com

Hmm - I thought everyone looked better with paler skin and darker hair - but apparently not. Ew, ScarJo! Just, ew. The jewellery looks photoshopped on or something. Actually - the whole look appears to have been photoshopped on to her face. Not good.

And even though I was asked today whether the black stripe in my hair was something that I had done just for Halloween, a lot of the things I wear at the moment no longer seem to be particularly creepy or counterculture and are actually kind of on-trend - even *shudder* mainstream.

I mean, as I pointed out in my last post, I basically have the same look as Miley Cyrus does right now. I can hardly pretend that my look is hardcore anymore, now can I? 

A long time ago, I would probably lump my look under ever increasing umbrella of "alternative" rather than trying to fit it into a particular subculture. But nowadays - given the current desire for, and access to, fast fashion that lets you quickly pick up and drop any look you could possibly dream up - alternative to what exactly? 

So does this appropriation of gothic fashion by the mainstream freak me out? Does it piss me off? 

Nope. Not really. 

While it may have been a pre-occupation of mine when I was a teenager to look or dress in a way that would make me stand out or, better yet, freak people out, these days I am just super happy about how ridiculously easy for me to buy clothes that I like now - and without even having to step foot in a fetish store! 

Seriously, check out this sweet looking rubber and mesh leggings that I nabbed from ASOS.com for about $35. 

How can I complain?

Ok. So it does piss me off a little bit when I see kids wearing band t-shirts when you can be pretty damn sure they NEVER actually listen to the band (like the many Ramones or Nirvana shirts that you see on 14 year old girls at the moment). But even then, if there is a chance that opens up a few of their lives to some of the best music ever written, it is probably for the greater good of man kind. 

Oh just grow up... later

Sometimes I have these moments where I look at the clothes I wear, my hair style, my makeup, the places I shop and I think "Hmmm - is this really appropriate for a 30-something year old? Maybe I should start acting a bit more like a grown up."

It doesn't help that I have a very serious job at a workplace full of very serious people who spend their spare money on investment properties and share portfolios. Or they don't have spare money because they are super grown up and have had actual children of their own.

I spend my spare money on ASOS, my cats (thanks to the fat one getting diabetes recently the cats are now costing a FORTUNE!), getting my roots done and fashion magazines.

And instead of doing grown up things on my weekends like antiquing, renovations and visiting wineries, I spend my time experimenting with nail art, choosing my next tattoo, drinking copious amounts of coffee and updating my tumblr account (this actually takes up a massive chunk of my time - if they had tumblr when I was at school, I probably would still be there - or if I was lucky, I would maybe have scored a job being the store manager of McDonalds or something).

But these moments of self-reflection rarely lead to me changing my behaviours. In fact, if anything, I think I am getting worse.

Maybe it is because I now live in a bigger city that is more accepting of sub-cultures and has more cool things for me to drop my cash on. Or maybe it is the early onset of a mid-life crisis. Not sure. But the fact is, the things that I wear now are, at least according to tumblr, EXACTLY the same things that depressed teens across the US wear.

Today, for example, I purchased this very cute spiky hairband:

And I also got this AMAZING Black Milk swimsuit/bodysuit:

The shorts are new too - vegan leather Liquorice shorts that I nabbed from ASOS.

It also doesn't help that I kind of have the same haircut as Miley Cyrus.

Me:

Miley:

Source: www.starcasm.net

But I got mine cut like this first so that makes it ok, right? RIGHT?

I actually think Miley has been looking a bit cute recently. But then I would think that - thanks to her recent so-called 'rebellion' against her good-girl disney image, she has been dressing just like me.

Oh god - what am I saying? I dress like Miley Cyrus?!?!

Maybe I do need to start dressing more like a grown up after all...

Spriiiiiiing!!!!!

Oh but the weather is lovely in Sydney at the moment!

It is really starting to warm up here and the skies are so blue, blue, blue! It is actually nicer today than it was for most of Summer last year. Hopefully it is a sign of things to come.

I went out this morning wearing boots, shorts and a t-shirt (all in black, obvs) but kind of regretted it. It just was just so lovely outside - I just wanted to be wearing something lighter. It was definitely dress weather.

So when I tried on this super cute MinkPink dress, I decided I would wear it out of the store instead of putting my black stuff back on and it felt sooo lovely.

You can't really see it in these pics but... IT HAS A PEGASUS ON IT!!!!! Actually, a couple of them. And I love pegasuses (pegasii?).

Ooooooooh - I love it so!  And it was pretty cheap so yaaaaaay.

If you like it too, you can buy it online - see? (Not sure why it is called "I Believe In Unicorns" though - the horseys have big-ass wings and no horn so, weird.) 

Hooray for warm weather!

Thousand island dressing

Following my last post on how my dress sense goes a bit nuts when I'm on holiday in a tropical location, I was determined not to make the same mistakes this time.

So in packing for Thailand, I tried to pack things that more closely resembled what I would wear in my normal life - more plain black dresses, denim cut-offs, band t-shirts and black singlets and much less crazy, floral print dresses and sarongs.

And, for the most part, this was a success.

You can probably guess from the last photo though that, yes, I did still indulge in some fake tan action. But this time, I splurged a little and bought St Tropez self-tanning mousse and a proper application mitt and that stuff seriously works! I had read heaps about it before but never wanted to spend a lot of money on tanning gunk so always went with something cheaper. But the colour is gorgeous (even on my pasty-ass skin, it turned a gorgeous maple colour) and it didn't even smell too bad. Genius! Get on it now.

Another little bit of island-maddness that I ended up indulging in was this:

While I don't normally get pedicures, for some reason I thought it would be a GREAT idea to get a purple and silver french-pedicure with little frangipanis painted on top. I admit, it looked cute at the beach. But it looked fricking stupid when I was back in the city.

(In case you are wondering, they are now a lovely shade of red. Just like nature intended.)

I also spent a couple of nights in Bangkok - which, while chaotic, stinky and very hot, called for a more urban look. Thankfully, I remembered to pack this nice little Terese Rawthorne dress which was perfect for going out on a hot, Bangkok night.

This was obviously towards the end of the trip when all the fake tan had worn off.

During the days though, I was less interested in looking totes chic and more focussed on not melting into a big ol' sweaty mess. Or getting sunburnt. Or getting some kind of tropical disease.

This was my basic survival kit:

The most important things being the fan (seriously, I bought it on day one and it was the only thing stopping my flesh just sliding off my body into a pool of sweat), the Clinique Super City Block (SPF 40 and oil free? Yes please!!) and the antibacterial hand wipes (you get pretty excited when toilets in Thailand have toilet paper - soap is a serious luxury so you are best being prepared for the worst...).

I also managed not to buy anything ridiculous.

Ok - that is a lie. I now own two pairs of fisherman pants (in the very practical colours of purple and maroon), a pair of baggy cotton pants in a sort of tribal print, some multi-coloured harem pants and a pair of THE smallest denim cut-offs ever (which I managed to rip in a pretty major way when I decided to do a cartwheel on the beach).

But I didn't buy a single fake handbag or anything else fake (even though the fake Mulberry handbags were practically FLAWLESS and kept calling to me every time I walked past). And I also managed not to buy this little fella too.

I think it is an iPhone cover. See? I can resist temptation!!!!

Holiday madness

I am worn out, you guys. Totally exhausted and run down. And the cold weather is not helping either. I just want to stay under the covers all day. I have to pretty much drag my poor, listless body around the place and offer myself bribes to force me into doing the simplest of things - you know, like 'Listen body - if you actually manage to get up and change out of your yoga gear, I will let you go and buy a coffee instead of having the instant crap'.

Luckily for me, though, I only have to suffer through one more week of this drudgery before I get to spend two glorious weeks in Thailand. In sunny, hot, tropical Thailand!

Oh I cannot wait! I am going to eat ALL the mango and drink ALL the coconut water and do bunches of yoga and just be lovely every single day!

Because while I am definitely more of an urban person, going on a holiday to a nice warm, tropical beachy place is sometimes exactly what my body needs to wind down and recalibrate. And this holiday could not come at a better time because I am beat!

I have been so crazy and busy, in fact, that I have hardly had time to think about packing. The cool thing about beach holidays, though, is that you really don't need to pack that much. A few bikinis, denim cut-offs, a couple of floaty dresses and some flip-flops will get you through pretty much the whole trip.

That said, something very peculiar happens to me when I go on these sorts of holidays. All of my usual style preferences go out the window and I start to get this idea in my head that on every day of my holiday I am going to pretty much looks exactly like this:

Source: www.celebuzz.com

Source: www.tigerlilyswimwear.com.au

Source: www.vettri.net

No big surprise - this is not what I actually end up looking like. Though not through lack of trying.

Here are some of the things that I do when hanging out on another country's lovely beaches:

1. Wear fake tan and bronzer


Even in the middle of summer, I do not wear fake tan when I am at home. Which makes me one of the 2% of all Sydney women who do not look orange and smell gross as soon as the sun comes out (and, for a scary number of women, for the rest of the year too, regardless of the temperature). To be honest, I just cannot be bothered with it. I do think that a tan can look lovely and, given that sun baking is perhaps the stupidest thing you could do (it causes cancer, premature ageing and is dull, dull, dull), faking a tan is really the only way to go about it. But who has the time?

Well, on holiday, I do!

Weird - maybe. But I just feel a bit better on the beach and in direct sunlight if I have a bit of colour. And then when I am back home, I will go back to being my lovely white self and mocking those around me who do this all the time. Because I am awful.

2. I buy and then wear weird, locally made dresses that I will never, ever wear again


I call this getting 'island fever'. It is when you start to get so relaxed in your dreamy, tropical surroundings that you actually forget that you cannot wear a sarong EVERY DAY back in your real life. You know, that life where you mostly wear jeans or thick, black opaques and absolutely NOTHING has a fricking flower printed on it!!!!

Yeah - this dress was never worn again. Luckily it didn't cost a lot. Shocking, right?

3. I wear dreamy white dresses


Because this is one of the only time when I will have a tan (albeit a fake one) I also get this desire to wear white - a colour that I would ordinarily avoid due to the fact that my skin (and now my hair) is so white, that I will basically look dead. Also, all of those gorgeous, nature-loving, glowy models always wear white on the beach and they look super - and that means I will too!!

This is actually a very pretty dress. And it was a bargain too - I got it from Primark on my first trip to the UK for 2 quid. But still - I only ever wear when I am on holiday because it is just not something that I would ordinarily feel the urge to wear.

4. I think this hat goes with EVERYTHING!


THIS hat.

It is actually my husband's hat. I am not sure if he has ever actually worn it though. It is also a very ugly hat. But on holiday, it is the PERFECT hat. I don't know why. It just feels... right. I plan on taking it again this time.


5. I wear shiny, pixie-like bits of cloth that don't really qualify as a dress


Again, this is actually quite pretty - but honestly. Would I ever, ever wear such a silly, whimsical little thing - WHICH IS ACTUALLY SEE-THROUGH - if it wasn't for the practical anonymity that being in a foreign country affords me?

The answer is no, of course I wouldn't. I mean, it isn't black, it has no studs on it and there isn't a single skull in sight - so it hardly fits in with my everyday wear, does it? But apparently, under the influence of the balmy Vanuatu heat, I thought it was just the very thing!

6. In fact, I wear an awful lot of dresses


While currently I live in jeans, leggings and, more recently, shorts with opaques, I have no doubt in my mind that, once I get to Thailand, I will be living in dresses. This is more to do with convenience than anything else - they take up very little space in a suitcase and so allow for lots of shopping to be done. (I mean, just think of all the other dresses, sarongs and pairs of fisherman's pants that I can bring back with me if I only take a couple of teeny weeny dresses over with me! And then think of all the seemingly extra space I will have in my wardrobe when, six months down the track, I throw all of these dresses, sarongs and fisherman's pants away because I realise that I will never actually wear them once I have left Thailand!)

I bought this one in Bali a couple of years ago. I have not worn it since. Although I did lend it to a friend for her to take to Thailand with her earlier this year and I will probably take it with me too. Because, again, it is very pretty. It is just not very me - well not non-holiday me anyway.


I have no doubt in my mind that I am going to do all of these things again. It is part of the fun now, I think.

Oooooooh I can't wait! :)

Get shorty

Yay, it's the weekend! Well - actually it is almost over.

And now Sunday-evening-itis is starting to sink in. You know, where you suddenly become super-conscious of how quickly the weekend is slipping away from you. And no matter what you do, you can't stop it from happening. It is over, you have to get up tomorrow and go to work and you have to do that FIVE TIMES IN A ROW before you get another reprieve.

Mmmm - I love being a grown-up!

Anyway, my husband and I did pretty much the same thing this weekend that we do every weekend. We just hung around our hood, read the paper (well - he did. I read Vogue) and drank a whole lot of coffee - but it was still lovely. I feel like maybe I should want to do more with my weekends - like I should be bored of this by now - but I don't and I'm not. In fact, it makes me very happy indeed.

Oh but I did mix up my clothes a bit. Because even though just like a month ago I was saying how totally awesome winter clothes are, I was totally bored of all my winter jumpers and leggings this morning. I just couldn't bear it any longer.

So, much to my husband's chagrin, I thought I would rock some cut-off shorts with opaques. Not something I am usually into, but I had bought these cute little cargo cut-offs from One Teaspoon in the sales and I couldn't wait any longer for the weather to warm up so I could finally wear them. Solution? Opaques!

Yeeeeah - so they are really short, huh?

Uh, in fact - I think I might ONLY wear these little booty-shorts with opaques. So lucky I tried this out!

The messed up hair is thanks to getting a thai massage in the middle of the day. Felt great but kinda left my hair in a bit of a cray-ay-zee state.

Oh wait - so I *did* do something awesome today! No wonder I feel so good!

Now I just need to make sure I don't remember that Monday is fast approaching me.

I mean... DAMMIT!!!!!