Hipster plus hipster equals weird

I know that a lot of people diss hipsters*.  And I know it is a little mean to pick on them because they are so feeble and such easy targets – but they really do confuse the hell out of me.

I spent this morning in one of the most painfully hip neighbourhoods in Sydney. And, of course, it was crawling with hipsters. Which is fine. I mean, what was I expecting? I was in their natural habitat. Complaining about there being too many hipsters in that hood would be like whining about having your leg bitten off while swimming in shark-infested waters. 

I like to go there because wherever there are hipsters, you can guarantee that there is good coffee, all day breakfasts, cd shops and flea markets (which are like the hipster Mecca). 

Also, I don't hate on these people just because they dress differently or talk strange or take themselves all waaaaaay too seriously. That would be wrong. Plus, having been a goth, I don’t feel I am in a position to judge and have a fair amount of sympathy for them. I know that they are just expressing their individuality by dressing exactly the same as all of their friends. It is a thing.

But one thing that continues to confuddle me about hipsters is this:

Do hipster girls (who usually look pretty cute) actually find hipster boys (who usually look like douche-bags) attractive?

I mean, seriously. Here is a picture of a fairly typical hipster girl:

 Source: www.stylevoyeur.com

Cute, right? And here is her natural mate, the hipster male:

 Source: www.melbournefashionista.com

Um, what? 

Now here is Isabel Lucas and her current beau, Angus Stone, who show us how two hipsters look when they are together:

 Source: www.news.com.au

Erk. 


Much like the wookie defence, THIS DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!!!

Maybe she is staying with him in hope that one day he will return to the sweet, fairly attractive man in the photo below - taken before he stopped shaving and started buying overpriced "vintage" clothes that had previously been worn by some homeless man that used to live in the same hip neighbourhood as him before it was gentrified to buggery:

 Source: www.whosdatedwho.com

Yeah. That is the same guy. So it isn't like the beard is hiding a hideously deformed growth or something. Can't she use her womanly ways to get him looking half-way decent again? Surely she doesn't prefer how he looks now?

And sure, I know that the heart wants what it wants and true love isn’t all about appearances and blah blah blah - but c’mon! These guys actually look like they are putting huge amounts of effort into looking as unappealing as is humanly possible.  It is one thing for a guy to be all scruffy and unshaven because he really just doesn’t give a crap about how he looks (and possibly hasn’t been home for a few days and is still drunk) but when guys have obviously tried so hard to look like this?

I just don’t get it.

And the facial hair! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? 

I guess they would probably say that they are being ironic.

But you know what? Not everything stupid is ironic - sometimes it is just stupid. 

*If you aren't really sure exactly what a hipster is but want to learn more, I suggest checking out this website: http://www.latfh.com/  HILARIOUS!!!!!

Going cold turkey

About a month ago, I figured out what everyone else already knew - that online shopping is the shizz!

I never really understood before why people liked shopped for clothes over the interwebs - isn't the actual act of shopping all part of the fun? You know, scanning the racks, trying on things that you don't really need and can't really afford, bathing in the insincere compliments of the shop assistants, purchasing the things that you don't need and really can't afford - it is the kind of thing that makes a girl glow all over (and then feel a little ill when she realises just how much she spent and the fact that she doesn't have anything to wear with her new dresses unless she also buys new shoes). But shoppers remorse aside, I would definitely rate shopping as one of my favourite things to do.

Which of course drives my husband crazy. If he wants to spend time with me on the weekend, he can be pretty sure that at least a few hours will be spent sitting in the "husband chair" in front of a change room and alternating between playing Angry Birds on his iPhone and saying nice things to me when I come out so that I don't cry or spend the rest of the day sulking. 

And he is a trouper - he really is - but the boy can only take so much. Apart from making regular cider stops between stores, these expeditions are really not that much fun for him at all. In fact, I think he would rate them as one of his least favourite things to do.

So I came up with a plan - I will start to buy clothes online! That way, he can watch sport or Battlestar Galactica or whatever while I shop and then we can spend our weekends together only doing things that we both like. Like watching horror movies, drinking coffee and talking about how much more awesome our lives would be if we lived in New York (for such a lovely, compatible couple, those are the only things that I can think of that we both like to do...). And with the Australian dollar being strong, and Australian prices being so high, I figured my plan made good fiscal sense too. I am soooooo smart!

So I logged onto www.shopbop.com (Free international shipping!!!! Alexander Wang!!!! Shoes!!!!), spent hours scanning through all the pretty things, picked a cute Rag & Bone sweater-dress and a couple of knitted jumpers and then - voila! Three days later I was the proud owner of new gear! 

Unfortunately though, while I was waiting for my purchases to arrive, I also became the proud owner of a few other assorted shirts, skirts, dresses and the like that I had bought the old-fashioned way. This was NOT part of the plan.

And since then, I have been on what could only be described as a shopping binge. I have bought things online. I have bought things in my lunch hour. And, worst of all, I have continued to drag my poor husband around from shop to shop on the weekends. All very bad. Of course, it doesn't help that there is a sale on at EVERY SINGLE SHOP in the city at the moment. Really, it isn't my fault when you think about it.

I mean, it isn't like I have been spending stupid amounts of money or anything (I never buy things on my credit card that I don't have the actual money to pay for) but I have got to the stage where I have bought things that I don't really need. I have even been forgetting that I have bought things until I come across them at the bottom of my wardrobe with the tags still on. 

See, the trouble with online shopping is that it denies you the instant gratification that you get from real-life shopping. A couple of clicks and you are done - but with nothing to show for it. Not straight away anyway. So even though it feels like Christmas every time a package arrives for me at work, it did nothing to quell the shopping-monster within me. In fact - it actually seemed to make it hungrier!

The way I see it, there is only one thing to do really - go cold turkey. No more shopping for the rest of this month at least. And after that, I will only buy things I need. Or things that are particularly pretty. Or that are on sale. Or if I am feeling sad. But otherwise - no deal!

I feel better already!

xox

EM

PS - This post looks a little dull with no pictures, doesn't it? Also, it occurs to me that I have really just banged on about my own problems for the whole thing. So, as a reward for those who have stayed reading to the end, here is a picture of Ryan Gosling wearing glasses. YOU'RE WELCOME! 

Source: http://www.celebuzz.com/2011-05-03/because-hes-hot-ryan-gosling-makes-a-coffee-run-photos/

To freeze or not to freeze...

The fact that I am very, very conscious of looking old is not a secret. Maybe that isn't totally accurate - I am more than just conscious of it. I am actually scared of it. I wouldn't say I am obsessive about ageing but it is definitely something that weighs on my mind from time to time.

Up until now, I have sought to stop the ravages of time through a strict skin care regime, yoga and good diet. Which is all very lovely but now that I am 31 and in a rather stressful but well-paid job, I am starting to wonder if it isn't time to up the ante a little bit.

That is right - I am talking about botox people!

Friends of mine swear they will never get it done. Which is all very nice, but I can't help but think that their tune won't change as the wrinkles get deeper. I mean, as a teenager, I remember boasting that I would never exercise or diet. And yet as a sedentary job and wavering metabolism started to show their effects on my waistline, I was soon lining up for the treadmill and raving about how tasty asparagus and tofu really was. 

I have no problems admitting that I have no intention of ageing without some kind of intervention. Other people might be secure enough to let the years have their way with their faces but not me. Whatever help I can get, I am going to take it.

So I am not definitely going to say that I will never get botox. The real question is really - when should I get it? And how much and how often? 

Right now I look ok - thanks to years of shunning the sun, I am not showing any major signs of ageing. But part of me has started to think that I should be taking more serious measures now (maybe not botox but certainly peels and laser resurfacing) as a preventative measure so that I can basically keep looking the way I do now for ever and ever and ever.

Sounds nice, no? 

Well it may sound nice, but will it look nice? 

Because I am far more scared of looking like a freak than I am of looking old. I am not so deluded that I can't see that a woman who has aged gracefully, like Isabella Rosellini say, looks SO much better than a woman who has injected the living crap out of her face (like Our Nic for example):

Source: www.guardian.co.uk

Source: www.babble.com

I mean at one stage, Nic - who is supposedly a serious actress - managed to completely destroy the ability of her face to show any emotions at all. So much so that, in spite of my love of all things Baz Luhrmann, I refused to watch "Australia" for fear that seeing her being dragged around the outback by the delish (and seemingly botox-free) Hugh Jackman would be kind of like watching Andrew McCarthy trying to animate the deceased Bernie in "Weekend at Bernie's".

Source: www.iwatchstuff.com

Source: www.iwatchstuff.com

 See? Same.

But my fear of ending up looking like a bloated, dead fish subsides pretty quickly when I see a celebrity who has somehow managed to stop the ageing process entirely. Someone who should look at least a decade or two older than me but who actually looks younger and much, much better.

Demi Moore is a perfect example of this. Of course, she has repeatedly denied that she has ever had any work done (but freely admits to using leeches to rid her body of impurities or some such rubbish) so it is difficult to know what it is that she is doing that I could replicate in order to defy the passing years. All I know is, she looks better now, in her late 40s, than I did even in my teens. Hell - I have never looked this fresh, glowy and, well, slamming:

Source: www.trendpk.com

What a bitch. Seriously.

I imagine that she has the same access to cosmetic surgeons and dermatologists that all the other ageing celebrities have, but somehow she looks better and less "worked on" than all of them.

The only thing that could really explain her Dorian Gray-like refusal to age is that she has come to some sort of an arrangement with the devil. And, as far as I can tell, it was TOTALLY worth it.

Yet if I do dedicate myself to the botox-way, there seems to be a far greater chance of me looking like a puffer fish than looking anything like Demi when I am in my 40s. And that would not be worth it.

So before I start injecting stuff into my face, I am going to see if some of the other, less scary, treatments work. Maybe by the time I get to 40, there will be improvements in injectables and more guarantees of achieving a natural result.

Until then, it is just me, my moisturisers and a lot of praying that the years will be kind.

Ugly is in the gender of the beholder

Source: www.openingceremony.us

I love Chloe Sevigny. LOVE her. I think she is swell.

One of the highlights of my recent trip to Tokyo was checking out the Opening Ceremony conceptual department store in Shibuya – 8 levels of stylish gorgeousness. And the first floor was full of racks and racks of Chloe Sevigny’s designs – loads of cute little numbers all guaranteed to make you look as edgy and fashion-forward as Chloe – so long as you are willing to part with some serious cash. (Which, BTW, I wasn’t so I left empty-handed but my head was full of dreams and plans to create similar outfits from bits and pieces that I will find in op shops – like a modern-day Andie from Pretty in Pink.)

After an hour or so of wandering around in awe, my husband could no longer feign even the slightest bit of interest and his boredom started to get the better of him. To shush his protests, I promised him we could leave as soon as I have had one last look at the Chloe Sevigny line again. But, amazingly, this did little to stop his whining.

Inside Opening Ceremony store - Shibuya

Source: www.openingceremony.us

Him: “What? Why? How can it be so important that you need to look at it twice if you aren’t actually going to be buying anything?”

Me: “Because she is so awesome and fabulous and I want to look just like her.”

Him: “Who? That girl?” [points at poster and makes face like he is smelling something nasty]

Me: “Yes - her! She is gorgeous!”

Husband: “Um, no. Actually the opposite of that. The other thing. Um. Minging? Who is she anyway?”

Me: “What? Are you kidding? She was in Kids.” [blank face] “Big Love.” [blank face] “Boys Don’t Cry.” [possibly even blanker face] “Ummmmmm – oh! American Psycho! Jean the secretary.”

Husband: “Oh right. Meh. Still. Gross. Can we go now?”

Given that I wasn’t going to buy anything anyway and knowing that he has a limited shopping capacity, I decided to cut my losses. But I was still a bit surprised that he didn’t think Chloe was da bomb. I thought he liked edgy, quirky girls. And if he doesn’t – well – I have been playing this thing all wrong!

But then I remembered Sarah Jessica Parker and it all started to make sense.

I have had many disagreements with the husband over SJP. We will be watching a movie that she is in and she will do something funny and I will say something fairly innocuous like, “She is so cute!” and then it is on.  I mean, seriously, have you ever tried to talk to a guy about Sarah Jessica Parker and even dared to suggest that she is cute or even just mildly attractive? It makes them go insane! It is one of those conversations where neither party can see the other’s side. 

To most women, SJP is somewhat of a style-icon. She takes fashion risks, wears fantastic labels, she looks great pretty much all the time. I mean, ok, sure she has a big-ish nose and slightly larger head to body ratio than is usually considered normal – but still, she rocks what she’s got and girls recognise and admire her for that.

Men, on the other hand, see one thing – a giant, horse-like head. And they can’t see past it. In fact, a few years ago, Maxim magazine named her “Un-sexiest Woman Alive”. (It also described Madonna as “Willem Dafoe with hot flashes” which is actually pretty funny.) The Family Guy has also taken a few, admittedly funny, shots at her over the years. It seems as though it is universally accepted amongst men that she is so thoroughly unattractive that any suggestion to the contrary must be aggressively refuted (well, I am guessing that Matthew Broderick isn’t in that camp but otherwise the theory seems to hold). Men are so affronted by the fact that she was elevated to being a woman that other women want to be like thanks to Sex and the City that it may just have broken their brains a little bit.

My husband actually forwarded a link to Maxim’s list of unattractive women when it came out with a smug note saying, “See? I told you!”  

Whatevs. I don’t even necessarily think that SJP is beautiful. I think she is interesting-looking and some of the roles she plays are funny. (Clearly I am NOT referring to either of the SATC movies here or that one with Hugh Grant in it. But she was totes cute in the The Family Stone. Also, I loved her in Ed Wood and Smart People. And don’t even get me started on Flight of the Navigator!)

And funny is cute. And cute is appealing. No need to get all hysterical about it and formulate some vile list in an attempt to prove women who think the same are wrong!

SJP in Flight of the Navigator

Source: www.cinemablend.com

What I think what guys don’t get about the appeal of celebrities like SJP and Chloe is the fact that they have done amazing things with what they have been handed. So they weren’t genetic freaks with natural, conventionally beautiful faces like Natalie Portman or Angelina Jolie or Olivia Wilde even. At least they haven’t relied on plastic surgery to change their faces into something that is considered more appealing to the masses in an attempt to secure more work (which doesn’t really seem to work anyway – I mean just look at Ashley Simpson, Megan Fox and *shudder* Heidi Montag). Instead, they play on their innate sense of style, cute personalities, talent and a fair amount of chutzpah. And that is pretty hot.

So I am not even going to bother trying to convince my husband that Chloe is awesome because it is useless. Just like it is useless trying to explain why I think Gary Oldman is absolutely gorgeous. And maybe – just maybe – he will stop trying to convince me how hot Keira Knightly is. (In my opinion, she only really looks attractive when her mouth is closed and more closely resembles a praying mantas than a woman. Ugh. I don’t get Scarlett Johansson either – she just looks like a blow-up doll.)

Maybe I should make a list....

From dud to stud in 5 minutes! (cat not included...)

So I want to focus on the boys for a little while. More importantly, I want to point out a few things that, in my opinion, make men that I may not otherwise think much of look like a massive catch.

And the thing is, they are all so easy for any guy to do that it makes me a little jealous. I mean if I wanted to increase my own appeal to the opposite sex, according to the likes of FHM and Maxim I would probably need to get implants, get a tan, put makeup on with a spatula, grow my hair long and wear it out all the time, wear tiny outfits and quite possibly have a frontal lobotomy. (Not that I think men necessarily like dumb women. But I do think that dating the type of guy who reads FHM or Maxim would be far more bearable if a very important part of your brain was missing.)

But for a boy, they just have to follow one or more (or all!!) of these simple tips and it will make them instantly more attractive. Well, to girls like me it will anyway.

I am also going to use a case study to give you an idea how these tips work in practice! For this, I have chosen actor/model/author/student/performance artist James Franco - a man who is a little dull on his own but who really knows how to utilise props and his environment to increase his overall babe-value.

Tip 1 - Wear specs (but only if you need them)
Fact - wearing glasses, especially old-fashioned, horn-rimmed glasses or a pair of Wayfarers, will make any guy instantly more attractive. So guys, ditch your contact lenses, cancel your lasik surgery and embrace your speccy-ness!

One word of warning though - this does not work if you don't actually need to wear glasses. It will make you look like a super-mega tool, especially if the glasses don't have lenses in them at all. People can tell, you know. They will think you are sad and will start avoiding you because they want to laugh every time they make eye contact with you. This is kind of the opposite from what we are trying to achieve here.

James wore a pair of fab glasses for his recent movie "Howl" where he played beat poet, Allen Ginsberg. (Not sure if he needs to wear glasses but as he was wearing them for a role it doesn't matter if he doesn't.) The result? Intellectual hotness:

 Source: www.james-franco.com

Sadly for me, my husband doesn't need to wear glasses. It is sad because I think they would really suit him. Sometimes I find myself hoping that his eyesight will start deteriorating soon so that he can start wearing them. Is that wrong?

Tip 2 - Read books

Men who read books are hot. Reading a book in public is bound to get a girl's attention. Which book they are reading is obviously very important and can be quite telling but even the least impressive title can still make a guy look a lot more attractive than he would be sans book. Of course, the bonus of reading something that is interesting and impressive is that it will make you more interesting. And, if it happens that your reading a book in public is successful in bringing a girl your way, you might actually have something to say to her that doesn't involve sport, Star Wars or World of Warcraft. Yay!

My husband was reading a book when I met him and it definitely added to his appeal. It was only later that I found out that he was just reading a Lonely Plant guide. Still, he looked hot and, evidently, what may has been a cunning ruse totally worked.

Finding men who read attractive is something that I am clearly not alone in - hence the success of the awesome blog, Hot Guys Reading Books.

 James knows this. He uses it to his advantage:

Source: www.thefablife.com

Also, in researching for this post (and by "researching" I mean scrolling through loads of photos of James Franco), I found out that James has written a book! How hot is that?

Tip 3 - Get a moggy

I know there is often a special relationship between a man and his dog. I think most women like this and find it quite attractive. Seeing a nice looking man mucking around with his dog can be very sweet (see Ryan Gosling and his dog).

But the second I find out that a guy owns a cat, I absolutely melt! It is a little more unexpected than a dog and suggests that he might be a bit sensitive - totally endearing. 

It is difficult, however, to take a cat out and about with you. They will just run away if you take them outside and walking a cat on a leash will make you look a bit of a freak (but not in a good way). 

So how do you let girls know that you own a cute little kitty? 

Well, James took care of this dilemma by posting a pic of him with his kitties on his Twitter account. Brilliant!

OMG - he has TWO cats!!! And a BOOK!!!  I DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

After seeing this pic, I officially admitted James to my list "5 men that I am allowed to have an affair with without it impacting on my marriage".  He is number 4 - right after Ryan Gosling (see link above).

Tip 4 - Don't look like you give a crap

Ah this one is tough. Because you do give a crap. In fact, you give a crap very much! That is why you are pretending to read Ulysses through your prescription Wayfarer specs at your local cafe and tweeting pics of your new ball of fluff that you named "Behemoth" (to allude to the fact that you may have also read other books - tricky ones that have been translated from their original Russian!).

So how can you look like you aren't trying too hard when you really, really are? Well, stop doing all of these things at once for a start! That is only for the pros like James. Try one at a time at first and try to make them fit into your existing look. This is also why it is very important not to wear non-prescription glasses. Smacks of effort and try-hardiness.

One trick that you can learn from James is this: When a great opportunity next comes your way - maybe even a date! - try to act completely nonchalant and like it is actually kind of a pain in the ass for you do it. Don't prepare. Don't act like it is a big deal. Don't look interested. Send a couple of texts in the middle of it. Look tired/stoned. Occasionally, let your eyes roll into the back of your head.

To see how it is really done, check out James at the 2011 Oscars where he was a host. A. HOST. Of the OSCARS. You would think that he would have been totally psyched to do this gig but, if he was, he hid it well:

Source: http://pattygopez.buzznet.com

I don't know why it is that girls like it when guys aren't trying. Maybe it is because when guys do make a big effort, they seem too desperate and this is probably an indication that there is something very wrong with them. Also, if a guy looks like he doesn't really know how to function properly in society, he seems like a challenge or project. This irresistible to most women. They can fix you! They can teach you the importance of regular showers and basic hygiene! They can buy you new clothes! This kind of thing is like crack for most women, even if they won't admit it. I bet women are even finding Charlie Sheen more attractive after his recent melt-down. Because clearly, the only thing wrong with Charlie Sheen is the absence of a good woman. (And no - the porn stars don't count.)

So long as you don't mind losing your sense of self, you can't lose with this one. And if you become a real pro, you will actually stop caring and won't need to make any effort at all! 

Win!

Why God? Why? (The Festival Report)

I am so sorry you guys - I know I promised to post yonks ago (well - a couple of weeks ago). But I have got such treats for you today that I hope you are able to find it in your hearts to forgive me my tardiness.

So a few posts back, I gave some pretty practical advice on what girls should not wear to a music festival (check it if you haven't already). And I thought that maybe - just maybe - after imparting my wisdom to the masses, this year people would dress a bit more appropriately. Well. How wrong can one girl be?

The Big Day Out in Sydney was an even bigger freak-show than usual. It is like people just didn't read my post or something (pfft - unlikely!). Or maybe they did read it and then figured I didn't know what I was talking about and so decided to do the opposite of everything I said (slightly more likely but still pretty ridiculous)?

And while I did have an aMAZing day getting my festival on and all, I couldn't help but get distracted by all of the fashion tragedies that were wandering around the place, desperately searching for liquor, cigs or their boyf (sometimes all three came in a neat little, semi-naked package with a spesh southern cross tattoo emblazoned across its back).

So, I took photos. I felt kinda dodgy doing this but figured, what the hey! I feel like it is for the greater public-good or something and so it is all ok.

I have blurred out the faces of the fashion-challenged specimans displayed below to protect their *ahem* image but if you recognise yourself, and actually feel like owning up to the fact that you looked THIS HIDEOUS, message me and I will take your photo down ASAP. (Of course, I may also feel the need to email you back with a scathing lecture on why a bikini is not an actual top or how, if you can't do your fly up, it is a sign that you should put on some shorts that fit and not just rock around the place WITH YOUR PANTS UNDONE!!!!!! But I do promise to delete your photo. Kay? Kay.)

So here are some of the fine moments in festival styling that I came across. You may notice a "clothing optional" theme and this was pretty much followed by at least 80% of the crowd - male and female. Sadly, I didn't get the memo and left my hot pants at home.

Dammit.

I am not sure, but I think this is a denim, Australian flag onesie - outstanding!!!

 

 Some kind of tropical, calypso thing going on here. Clearly at the festival to check out Rammstein. At least it qualifies as a top. Snaps for that.

Denim nappy with scales? Bra sets it off just lovely.

Never let the fact that you can't zip up your tiny skirt stop you from wearing it in public - just match it with a totally cute, macrame swimsuit! Yeah!

These guys all got the clothing optional memo. Maybe I can get on some kind of mailing list so I don't feel so overdressed next year...

BTW Special shout out to Bron who posed for fake photos in front of some of these gals so I didn't look like a total psycho-stalker. M-wah!

xx EM

Oops! I did it again...

Now that 2010 is so last year, I thought it was a good time for some reflection on what went down over the past 12 months. 

One of themes that ran through 2010 for me was breaking rules – well, my own fashion rules anyway.

Most of these rules came about as a result of some hard lessons that I learnt in my youth following some truly heinous fashion faux pas. After humiliating myself by slavishly following one stupid trend after another, I told myself that, no matter what fashion dictates, I would not make those same mistakes again.

Well, apparently that was a big, fat lie.

Here is what got a second look-in in 2010 despite my better judgement:

Rule: Midriff tops are silly and should be avoided

I used to be obsessed with midriff tops. I was devoted to them from the late 80s right through to the late 90s. When I was 8 or 9 I wore a purple Dannii midriff t-shirt with an aqua rah-rah skirt and crimped hair to school dances. Later, when I was around 15, I would confuse the hell out of my parents by pairing a knitted midriff jumper with a big vintage jacket and baggy, ripped Levis in the middle of Winter – no way was the cold weather going to stop me from baring my belly!

Then trends seemed to move away from tiny tops and, as my personal obsession also waned, I decided that I would never go back to midriffs again.

But now they are back! The fact that they are currently in fashion isn’t the real reason why I bought one a few months ago. Nope. It is the fact that I really wanted to show my new tattoo off!

*sigh* When, exactly, am I going to grow up? At least I have made the decision to only wear the top with high-waisted skirts and pants. The ol’ belly-button will remain covered. Well, for the time being at least...

Rule:  Never wear white leather shoes 

When I was about 10 I had these fab white leather mini-heels. I used to wear them with white shorts (now that is one mistake I really won’t be making again!) and thought they were the hottest thing ever. I got over that one pretty quickly though and they were never replaced.

The white leather shoes that I bought this year aren’t really the same thing but there is no denying their white-ness.

Screw it – I love them!

Rule:  Bodysuits – just say no!

I noticed bodysuits cropping up again in shops a year or so ago. I recoiled in terror when I saw them on the rack – memories of uncomfortable press-studs that made going to the bathroom a nightmare came flooding back to me and I made a vow not to be seen dead in one this time around.

But then I found one last year that kind of reminded me of something a ballerina would wear and it had a really cool low-scooped back. I thought it would be so good for layering too because it wouldn’t ride up. The next thing I knew, I was at the cash register and another rule bit the dust.

I also enjoy wearing it around the house over black opaques and pretending I am Edie Sedgwick.

Rule: Unless you are actually Dutch, why would you wear clogs?

Ah, clogs! I had this hideous pair of brown leather clogs in the early/mid 90s and I mistakenly thought they went with absolutely EVERYTHING that I owned. It also happened to be at the time that I was carrying a lot of extra puppy-fat so they kind of made me look like a piggy running around on these little wooden trotters. Not pretty. Regrettably, I was as unaware of my weight issues as I was about the hideousness of those clogs so I would strut around like I was Kate Moss or something. It is traumatising just for me to think about it.

So how the hell did I end up buying these little fellas last month?

I have no idea. I mean, they aren’t exactly clogs but they are certainly of the clog-family. They are really high too and quite unstable so I kind of wobble on them a bit like a newborn giraffe. But I thought they were hot when I saw them and I still kinda do. I have only worn them out once though and I ended up falling over in quite an ungracious way in front of a bunch people and skinned one of my knees. Tres chic! 

Anyways, happy New Year you guys! One of my resolutions is to write more so I will hopefully be posting more often. Well - that is the plan. We'll see...

xx