Friday, January 20, 2012

Taste in men

I have been seeing my first crush all over the place lately. It had been ages since I had seen him last, but  now I am seeing him around the city pretty much every day - sometimes on the back of a bus, sometimes on a poster, in magazine articles, on the tele. And the second I saw his face, it brought back so many fond memories.


Apparently he has a new movie out. 

Amazingly, he has not aged one little bit since I first saw him. I, on the other hand, have changed a lot - I mean, I was probably about 5 years old after all.

And I loved him just as much as a 5 year old could love a frog made out of felt with a hand up its butt. He was sweet and kind and honest. He just seemed perfect to me. I would watch Sesame Street twice a day and my favourite songs were 'Rainbow Connection' and 'It's Not Easy Being Green'.

Of course, I hated Ms Piggy with a passion. I don't really like her now, to be honest. I just think he deserves so much better. 

But seeing Kermit again did make me realise how much my taste in men - at least celebrity crushes anyway - has changed over the years.

For a start, I have moved away from muppets and actually get crushes on real men now. And the first real man that I had a crush on was Michael J Fox.


I first saw MJF as Alex P Keaton in 'Family Ties'. He was smart and funny and cute. In retrospect, these should have been overshadowed by the fact that he was also obnoxious and, worse, a republican, but that didn't bother me at the time.

Of course, after Family Ties, there were dozens of movies to watch him in - like  the 'Back to the Future' movies, 'Teen Wolf' and 'The Secret of My Success' - lots of 80s goodness to keep me dosed up on MJF cuteness.

Even to this day, whenever MJF turns up in something - be it 'Scrubs', 'Boston Legal' or even the 'Stuart Little' movies - he still makes me a little bit giddy. The guy is just irresistible!

As I got a little older, though I started being very influenced by whatever my sisters happened to be into - and this included the movies and celebrities they liked.

So when they got obsessed with the movie 'The Sure Thing', I started to take a bit of a fancy to its leading man, John Cusack.


Officially, I was too young to watch 'The Sure Thing' and I don't think I really understood much of the adult content (which, when you consider the fact the whole movie is about one guy's mission to get laid, makes you wonder what the hell I did think was going on).

But my crush on John Cusack began then and it persists to this very day. I even loved him in 'Hot Tub Time Machine'.

It didn't take long though for my pre-teen fancies to turn from actors to musicians. My sisters assured me that boys in bands were totally hot but I never really under stood what they were going on about.

Until there was him:

Jon Bon Jovi. It was 'Blaze of Glory' that did it for me. I hadn't paid that much attention to Bon Jovi before that but then, when Jon went solo for the 'Young Guns II' soundtrack, my little heart would go all a-flutter every time the video played on 'Rage' on Saturday morning.

Looking back though, while I admit that he was very attractive, how the hell did I get past all of that hair? I mean, it is EVERYwhere!!! And he seemed to have a great deal of trouble keeping his chest covered. Which is fine I suppose. But a little inappropriate for such a young girl to be lusting after!

Thank God for the 90s is all I can say!

While I was very much a grunge girl in the 90s, it was Blur's cheeky little front boy (now frontman of Gorillaz) who made me weak at the knees and all swoony in the early to mid-90s.

He was definitely the prettiest of them all - even prettier than Gavin Rossdale, and that is saying something. He was also bratty, musically brilliant and very, very cool. And his girlfriend, Justine from Elastica, was even cooler and I wanted to be just like her.

Basically fantasy was to move to London as soon as I could, cut my hair short like Justine's and be in a band and then, of course, find a Damon look-a-like who was also in a band and live happily ever after in faux-Cockney bliss.

But Damon and Justine didn't last. And neither did my fantasy. Because soon I was into much darker things than Brit-pop and the like. I had moved onto Quentin Tarantino, Bret Easton Ellis and Nine Inch Nails. Which of course led me to Trent Reznor.

Sure, now Trent Reznor is known for being an Oscar-winning composer of movie scores. But to a misunderstood, pseudo-intellectual, wannabe-goth 15 year old in the mid-90s, he was basically God.

Dangerous, sexy as hell and incredibly talented - what more could a teenage girl want? I actually dated a couple of guys solely based on the fact that they kind of, sort of, looked like Trent. Unsurprisingly though, these never lasted long.

I still to this day find him, his music and his voice entirely compelling. And even though he is now a bit chunkier and married and whatever, I will never give him up - he is totally still on my list of 5 celebrities that I am allowed to have an affair with without it affecting my marriage.

My celebrity crushes after Trent though tended not to be so serious. Maybe that is because I got married, who knows. All I know is that my next real obsession was with two very tasty TV vampires.


Yep - before there was Bill Compton and Eric Northman to drool over, I was all about Angel and Spike from 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'. But not at the same time - I only really liked Angel in the first couple of seasons (while he was still buff and obsessed with the Buffster) and Spike only got really hot in the last few seasons (also when he became obsessed with the Buffster - it is like she draws the hotness out of them or something).

It is important to note not though that, with these guys, I only really liked them on the show. Neither David Boreanaz or James Masterson do anything for me in the other roles that they play. David seems a bit like a cocky douche and James isn't actually English which is just wrong. But when they were in BTVS they were both brutally hot and worthy of Buffy's attention. Not like that Riley guy she dated though. He was just lame.

Speaking of vampire slayers...

Ah Ryan Reynolds! You are probably thinking this is just about those guns, right? But I swear it isn't! I mean, they don't hurt, but I actually first had a crush on Ryan back when he was playing Burg in 'Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place'. And then he got buff and started getting lots of movie roles and then I REALLY started to like him.

Seriously though, I think he is really funny. He actually kind of reminds me of Chevy Chase. And I used to think Chevy Chase was a bit of a hottie too. So there.

And not all the celebrities that I get crushes on are buff.

Helloooo Doctor! I am fairly certain that, when I watched 'Doctor Who' growing up, none of the Doctors were as sexy as David Tennant. I mean, he is the most ridiculously good-looking Doctor and has the most wicked smile. The brown suits and bow-ties help a lot too.

Now, sadly, there is a new Doctor. As much as I have unexpectedly warmed to him, he just isn't David.

Which brings us to now!

And, if you have been paying any attention to me and my blog at all, you will know exactly which celebrity I am currently obsessed with. But in case you need reminding:

Intensity? Check. Talent? Check. Guns? Check.

Oh Ryan, could you ever be replaced?

Erm, actually... have you seen Tom Hardy ('Inception', 'Warriors', 'Tinker, Tailor, Solider, Spy') lately?


He is also going to be in Christopher Nolan's next Batman movie, 'The Dark Knight Rises', as Bane - which is unlikely to be the most attractive of characters given what he looked like in the comics but still, very awesome.

Can. Not. Wait.

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